Surprise, bitch

Me and The Perfect Natalia had this urge to buy some fancy wine and some nomz, so we went to the nearest Tesco's. And while being there we were both like "Hey! They have ponies in Kinder Surprise. Lets buy some!". So we did.

Can  you fucking imagine we both got the same toy? I mean, what are the odds to get THE SAME TOY in two Kinder Surprises? What the fuck Ferrero? Back in my time it was almost impossible to get two identical toys.

The world has gone to shit, I tell ya.

First world problems - a breathtaking saga

Oh are you fucking kidding me?

Well, I had my post almost ready when the Starbucks wifi just died. So I will start from the beginning.
I had one hour before my doctor's appointment so I have decided to check out this massive shopping center that had just been opened. The plan was simple - have a coffee and a nice, warm panini and maybe take a look at the shops. This little trip made me realize that I need a twitter account, so I can post there my first world problems instead of texting The Perfect Natalia frantically. This is a transcript of what happened.

I entered the shopping center at 15:57.

16:09
I'm already lost. Girl got them skills.
16:14
So.Lost. Where the fuck is coffee and food?
16:17
I badly want panini and there is no panini. I have to go to Starbucks damnit. First world problems lol.
16:21
Where the fuck do they have Starbucks here?
16:27
NO PUMPKIN SPICE LATTE IN STARBUCKS.
FUCK.MY.LIFE.
16:32
I guess a gingerbread one is not that bad. Their panini is flawless, I can admit it. Also elderflower water yay!
16:37
Woo! Free wifi!
16:43
Update: wifi at Starbucks sucks.
16:50
I really need a twitter account...

Yeah... But, on the bright side, the coffee and food was really awesome.

Let me tell you how awesome you are if you're not white

When I went to an international uni I was sure I will get even more tolerant than I was previously to this experience. Gay? Hell yeah! Person of colour? Bring it on! Vegan? Okay, that may be weird but if you don't stick your nose into my bacon sandwich we're okay dokey! International uni seemed to be a perfect place to learn ultimate tolerance towards everything.

I was so wrong it hurts.

Let me start with this ridiculous event when one of our Nigerian students decided to call me and my German friend a "privileged whites" just because we didn't agree to put her slide on the group presentation. It was so wrong on so many levels, that putting it in a assessed work would be a suicidal mission. But we got called privileged whites. Can you imagine me calling someone a nigger in this kind of situation? I would get hanged for racism. But this girl? Nah, it was just okay to be openly racist towards our race. She literally shouted it in our faces and absolutely no one reacted. Because apparently, being racist towards the white race is okay. 

On some other occasion we were discussing evolution (science students, forgive us). And this Nigerian girl didn't just ask us to stop. She told us to not ever mention evolution in her presence because SHE FORBIDS US. Excuse me, but I'm a free person and I can talk about whatever shit I can think of and some princess can't make me stop. When I told her that is not really her business what we are talking about and maybe she gets offended so hard about evolution because she is a proof it is nonexistent (in a intellectual way, obviously) everyone got so shocked. OMG Fox, U so racist. Well, if I get to be called privileged just because I think a slide is bullshit and I can't talk about some topics, I might as well get mean.

I don't deny white race have done some nasty things to people of colour. There was slavery, mass murders of native Americans and other things people should not be proud of. I don'd deny racism, because that is a serious issue. But there is something more than just racism towards people of colour. There is a huge amount of non-tolerance towards white race.

How does it work, can someone tell me? Me, my Indian, Iraqi or Chinese and Jewish friends were just okay with all kinds of jokes. Making a joke about the black race - RAGE. Someone black making fun of white race - as a white person I should acknowledge that I am privileged, shut my whore mouth and cope with all kinds of abuse. Well, I call bullshit on that.

I think right now he have this sick, reverse racism thing going on. Everyone can mock white race. No one can make jokes about other races. Like we couldn't just all be equal and chill about who we were born. I guess this is a human thing. To abuse others.

And I'm so sick of it.

Oh...

Discovered today that in fact, I really like One Republic.

Oh the feels.

Oh the prettiness.

Oh I need to write more.

Oh everything is perfect.

Oh.

DIY

Still alive. Just very busy.

Me and The Perfect Natalia are invited to some fancy-pants party. The theme is Royals and Hobos and as we are both absolutely perfect, we are going as royals (duh!). And because we are also fabulous, we have to prepare some sweet-ass costumes for the event.

The crowns have been already ordered (and they are flawless), we are currently working on the dresses and it was time to come up with some masks. At first I just wanted to buy them, but apparently all masks available in shops are shit. So, as a person who knows absolutely nothing about DIY I have decided to make them myself.

Spent the whole morning looking at lace mask tutorials and after finding a perfect one, I bought what I needed. Because I liked the idea of a mask glued with some lash glue, rather than tied around my head I also got this damned thing, not even knowing how to use it. But yeah, I cut some very lumpy holes in my lace masks, put the lash glue on it, put it on my face and...

This piece of shit fell off.

From now on the story goes like that. I got mad that this lash glue is useless and washed my face to get rid of it. Reached for the nearest towel, wiped my face and apparently, instead of a mask, I glued a towel to my face. The next thirty seconds I just stood in the bathroom thinking "what the fuck just happened". As it turned out, I had to wait a bit for the glue to start working. Good to know, you stupid makeup equipment. Removing the glued towel was not the nicest thing that happened to me in my life.

All in all, the masks are ready. And they look pretty sweet, to be honest. But there is no way I can get this glue of my face. The things I do for science/love/fashion... (mostly science, to see if I suck at DIY hard or just a little lol)

Sex

I need it like fucking air.

The Perfect Natalia is not going to walk for a week when I'm finished with her.

Also still unemployed. But I'll get there. Because I'm fucking awesome. I got a fucking Merit from the butchery called The University of Warwick.

Also I'm a bit drunk.

Whatever company decides to hire my ass - HERE I COME.

Come, ehehehehe.

My blog sucks but deal with it. Like people have to deal with my ungodly gif reaction skills and all that sarcasm.

Life is good, I tell ya.

Go and get them, tiger!

Tomorrow will be the day I will send a shitload of applications and one of them will be THE ONE that will give me a job.

Mark my words.