Owner of a lonely life

Ever wanted to have a friend? Don't. Having a friend is a sucky job.

Okay, maybe not always. Maybe having a real friend is great. Sadly, I didn't ever have a real friend. What is a definition of a friend? A person you like? A person that helps you? A person that understands you? A person that you feel comfortable with? I think having a friend is having someone close, who would never ever leave you in need. Do I have a friend? I certainly don't.

Because of Vivas (oral exams, if someone is confused) I had to go back to the UK for a couple of days. My "friend" is there, doing his PhD and he gladly offered that he will let me sleep on his bed, while he will take the couch in the living room. I arrived at the place past midnight, tired as fuck and wanting only to take a shower and go to sleep. What did my "friend" do? While I was taking a shower he simply went to sleep in the bed. When I asked him what the fuck, he graciously threw one pillow on the floor and that was the end of the conversation. I'll give you a moment to process that.

A guy made his friend, who certainly is a woman, sleep on the floor.

I was shocked and outraged. When I told this piece of shit what I think about him he started... crying. Sobbing and weeping like a fucking baby, lamenting on how tired he was, how his life is bad and how he is in constant emotional pain. An adult guy cried like a pansy for over an hour, saying that he will kill himself because he is so miserable. All because I was not so excited about sleeping on the floor when the agreement was different. I gave up and slept on the damned floor, while he was sobbing on a warm and comfy bed.

I described my tragedy to my housemates and in return I got warm sleeping bags and mats. And also the overwhelming impression of victory when every single person looked at my "friend" with disgust. I don't feel sorry for him. I feel that he deserves hell and I'll gladly deliver it to him by first-class post services.

Sadly, that's not the end. I also had a party with my classmates this week, so I was planning to be back home quite late. Excuse me, that was the last time me and my awesome friends would be going out as students, not graduates. So after an amazing night full of unspeakable things (which I will describe in my next entry. I really should make this blog more regular) I got a text from my "friend" that he is not going to open the door for me and fuck you Fox, go sleep on the street. And now we have a perfect example of "How to act like a friend" compared to "How to NOT act like a friend". All of my classmates from the uni offered me a place to sleep. My so-called "friend" was very unhappy that I was having a good time while his fat ass was at home with housemates who despised him.
In the end, he opened the door. And... cried like a fucking pansy for at least two hours because he was so tired, had some meeting on the next day and other, stupid stuff I would never cry about, despite being a woman.

Can you imagine this? A grown up guy crying that someone was mean to him? That his back hurts and because of that he can't sleep on the floor? I don't forbid crying, everyone has to cry from time to time. But this motherfucker cried not because he was ashamed of how he treated me. He wept over his miserable life, of how people are mean to him and how innocent and how abused he is. After this week I came to the conclusion that I have bigger balls than him. And also that it's time to focus on more valuable friends.

I'm back, dear readers. And happy to start a new life with new people and new challenges.