Owner of a lonely life

Ever wanted to have a friend? Don't. Having a friend is a sucky job.

Okay, maybe not always. Maybe having a real friend is great. Sadly, I didn't ever have a real friend. What is a definition of a friend? A person you like? A person that helps you? A person that understands you? A person that you feel comfortable with? I think having a friend is having someone close, who would never ever leave you in need. Do I have a friend? I certainly don't.

Because of Vivas (oral exams, if someone is confused) I had to go back to the UK for a couple of days. My "friend" is there, doing his PhD and he gladly offered that he will let me sleep on his bed, while he will take the couch in the living room. I arrived at the place past midnight, tired as fuck and wanting only to take a shower and go to sleep. What did my "friend" do? While I was taking a shower he simply went to sleep in the bed. When I asked him what the fuck, he graciously threw one pillow on the floor and that was the end of the conversation. I'll give you a moment to process that.

A guy made his friend, who certainly is a woman, sleep on the floor.

I was shocked and outraged. When I told this piece of shit what I think about him he started... crying. Sobbing and weeping like a fucking baby, lamenting on how tired he was, how his life is bad and how he is in constant emotional pain. An adult guy cried like a pansy for over an hour, saying that he will kill himself because he is so miserable. All because I was not so excited about sleeping on the floor when the agreement was different. I gave up and slept on the damned floor, while he was sobbing on a warm and comfy bed.

I described my tragedy to my housemates and in return I got warm sleeping bags and mats. And also the overwhelming impression of victory when every single person looked at my "friend" with disgust. I don't feel sorry for him. I feel that he deserves hell and I'll gladly deliver it to him by first-class post services.

Sadly, that's not the end. I also had a party with my classmates this week, so I was planning to be back home quite late. Excuse me, that was the last time me and my awesome friends would be going out as students, not graduates. So after an amazing night full of unspeakable things (which I will describe in my next entry. I really should make this blog more regular) I got a text from my "friend" that he is not going to open the door for me and fuck you Fox, go sleep on the street. And now we have a perfect example of "How to act like a friend" compared to "How to NOT act like a friend". All of my classmates from the uni offered me a place to sleep. My so-called "friend" was very unhappy that I was having a good time while his fat ass was at home with housemates who despised him.
In the end, he opened the door. And... cried like a fucking pansy for at least two hours because he was so tired, had some meeting on the next day and other, stupid stuff I would never cry about, despite being a woman.

Can you imagine this? A grown up guy crying that someone was mean to him? That his back hurts and because of that he can't sleep on the floor? I don't forbid crying, everyone has to cry from time to time. But this motherfucker cried not because he was ashamed of how he treated me. He wept over his miserable life, of how people are mean to him and how innocent and how abused he is. After this week I came to the conclusion that I have bigger balls than him. And also that it's time to focus on more valuable friends.

I'm back, dear readers. And happy to start a new life with new people and new challenges.

Shoot me in the face and sing a victory song

My supervisor finally replied to my email.

At first, when I was reading it I thought "whoa, I'm fucking awesome!". But then after the very positive introduction it changed into "disasters", "wrong statements", "bad data" and "nonsense". Reading the comments causes me physical pain, because there is no way I can fix this. Why? Because I already sent my hard copy of the dissertation to Warwick. Also, when I was sending my supervisor the finished paper A WEEK AGO I clearly stated in my email that I WILL SEND THE HARD COPIES ON MONDAY 26TH OF AUGUST, because they need to be on time and I AM IN POLAND, YOU STUPID, OLD FUCK. He didn't react to that and ruined my life today at 2:37pm.

I'm generally screwed. Because I can't fix anything, because Warwick already has a different version. Also leaving me with ONE DAY to do some major modifications is plain cruel. There is so way I could fix the mistakes, print it and hand it in on time, even if I were in the UK.

After the initial shock that made me scream, cry, break everything, run like a headless chicken, call my Mum, my friends at Warwick, The Perfect Natalia, the prime minister and ultimately, the Pope, I calmed down. Because if I can't fix it, why get paranoid about it? What's done is done, there's nothing I can do about it. So nope, I'm not going to go mental about something that I can't change.

YOLO MOTHERFUCKERS.

Piss is the new black

She actually did. I should start getting money for predicting the future. I'm awesomely good at this shit.

Roland the cat finally lost his last remaining, still working brain cell and pissed on the carpet. No one knows why. No one knows what for. No one knows anything. He just did that, probably because the litter box needs major cleaning. Still, I don't recall having a posh cat from a cattery that needs diamond litter to shit on it. Anyway, that's the way to start a morning. With a warm stream of cat piss on the carpet.

Asshurt

Have you ever hated someone you never actually met so hard, that you decided to dedicate your life to writing a blog about how much you hate this person? For months? No? Me neither. But apparently I am someone's ultimate nemesis and it's been approximately 8 months since she started being my very peculiar anti-fan. I must say, this was a bit annoying at the beginning, then I found it hilarious but now I'm a bit afraid hating me is her only meaning of life. I may consider writing her an email to get a fucking life.

I was also considering letting some of the people from my previous blog that I'm leaving but why would I need this bunch of morons here? Also I'm quite sure those retards don't understand English that is more advanced than porn dialogues. So no. Or maybe I'll let know some of them. The ones that actually had brains not permanently damaged by god knows what. This makes me a hermit because I got used to tons of followers. But I prefer no followers rather than one hundred fucking idiots. I became a very cynical and antisocial person. I may even write another entry on my polish blog to make them even angrier. I do hope my psychotic anti-fan writes about me. She's a never-ending source of joy.

Countryside was fun, but I died a bit there. Mostly because of rum. Rum successfully burned a hole in my stomach and left me dying with my head in the toilet. Life is balancing between living and dying in agony because of one's own actions.

How to not give a fuck - the new beginning

Since forever I've been writing blogs. Tons of them died after a few entries, some of them are still alive. I've tried everything - personal blogs, secret blogs, writing blogs. And everything ended up practically the same. I got bored. Hopefully this time will be different.

First of all, I'm genuinely tired of writing on polish blogging platforms for one, particular reason - people. Maybe it was me choosing wrong friends, but people on blogging platforms I used were generally assholes. You could not have your own opinion, if it was an unpopular one. Because this would always end with a massive drama you really didn't want to take part in. The funniest part is that if you licked someone's ass everyone loved you. But try to reasonably criticize... Well, then you get flooded with pure hate. From the people who two entries ago loved you to death. I may be getting old, because once I cared about what people on the web said. Now? Now all I can do is shrug and leave them be. If they want to spread hatred just because someone disagrees with them on the internet - their choice. I don't have to be a part of it. Also it's always funny how they think I care. I really don't give a single fuck about how much they hate me. I've passed the point of staying in a hostile environment to fight with stupidity. Why waste my life on someone who has an IQ of an angry rodent?  

When writing my latest, polish blog I realized that out of over 100 followers there was maybe 5 people I could talk to about something more than getting wasted, getting bitches and so on. I truly love writing, but sharing this on my previous blog ended always the same. No one even noticed, because I didn't write about awesome stuff like drinking and sex. And I'm much more than that.

At some point I just stopped caring about this blog anymore. Of course, I'm still writing there but I don't really care about being nice to people I find plain stupid. Once I tried to be nice to everyone. Now I can't be nice to this bunch of useless hypocrites. Not everyone there is like that, obviously, but it's like a bad spice in a good dish. One component can ruin everything. So it's time to change the scenery.

I may have decided to do this because I finally finished my dissertation and have time for other stuff. For instance writing my projects and translating them to English, so I can publish them here. Wish me luck!