DIY

Still alive. Just very busy.

Me and The Perfect Natalia are invited to some fancy-pants party. The theme is Royals and Hobos and as we are both absolutely perfect, we are going as royals (duh!). And because we are also fabulous, we have to prepare some sweet-ass costumes for the event.

The crowns have been already ordered (and they are flawless), we are currently working on the dresses and it was time to come up with some masks. At first I just wanted to buy them, but apparently all masks available in shops are shit. So, as a person who knows absolutely nothing about DIY I have decided to make them myself.

Spent the whole morning looking at lace mask tutorials and after finding a perfect one, I bought what I needed. Because I liked the idea of a mask glued with some lash glue, rather than tied around my head I also got this damned thing, not even knowing how to use it. But yeah, I cut some very lumpy holes in my lace masks, put the lash glue on it, put it on my face and...

This piece of shit fell off.

From now on the story goes like that. I got mad that this lash glue is useless and washed my face to get rid of it. Reached for the nearest towel, wiped my face and apparently, instead of a mask, I glued a towel to my face. The next thirty seconds I just stood in the bathroom thinking "what the fuck just happened". As it turned out, I had to wait a bit for the glue to start working. Good to know, you stupid makeup equipment. Removing the glued towel was not the nicest thing that happened to me in my life.

All in all, the masks are ready. And they look pretty sweet, to be honest. But there is no way I can get this glue of my face. The things I do for science/love/fashion... (mostly science, to see if I suck at DIY hard or just a little lol)

Sex

I need it like fucking air.

The Perfect Natalia is not going to walk for a week when I'm finished with her.

Also still unemployed. But I'll get there. Because I'm fucking awesome. I got a fucking Merit from the butchery called The University of Warwick.

Also I'm a bit drunk.

Whatever company decides to hire my ass - HERE I COME.

Come, ehehehehe.

My blog sucks but deal with it. Like people have to deal with my ungodly gif reaction skills and all that sarcasm.

Life is good, I tell ya.

So hipster...

Lately life has been a bit shit. Well, maybe not a bit shit, but very shit. Trouble in paradise and stuff like that. But what are problems in comparison to my very own can of Jack Daniel's Coke Whisky? Yes, dear readers, I have bought this beauty yesterday and since then I have been worshiping it endlessly. This makes me a total hipster, because when I saw it in the shop I didn't think "Oh, I really want to drink it!" but "Oh, I will instagram the shit out of this can!". There is no hope left for me.

Currently I'm at the countryside, trying not to freeze to death and going to the woods to find animal carcasses. Nothing new happened, I'm the most boring person in the universe. The only fascinating thing that happened is that we found a Chicken in The Woods mushroom in our fruit garden. And it was delicious.

Vivas next week. Do not want at all. But after that - I'm free. No more studying, no more essays, no more exams and dissertations. Omg, what now?

I need this

This speaks to me on spiritual level. And I want this shirt. Maybe in different colour. But I still want it.

Feed the whale

Everyone is getting married while I only get more hungry and more horny.

Breathe

The air today smelled of broken hopes, grim ends and children's despair. You could feel the sad atmosphere of ending summer and the faint scent of fear. The fear of responsibilities, failed exams, dead dreams and shit cafeteria food. When I passed a group of teenagers on my way to the grocery store I saw the same blank, distraught stare in their eyes, the same I had every year by the end of summer. I was almost sure they would all burst into tears any moment. But they didn't. They just looked at me, as if they wanted to say "Fuck school, get bitches". Why, my young friends, why would I fuck school when I can fuck The Perfect Natalia instead? I'm way pass school problems. My only problem now is that air smells like the end of everything and that my beer is getting warm.

But I cleaned up the whole house today. And I'm getting more friend points with my neighbor. Today was the second day in a row when she had coffee at my place. We reached the point when I buy her cat food and she shows me her sex toys. Ach, it's good to have a friend again.

Night Fever

I'm quite positive a mosquito that just bit me was having a party with his friends and took part in a weird bet. Because I would not believe a mosquito would do something so reckless.

I noticed a mosquito flying around the room and decided to kill the little fucker before it drinks my blood. While hunting, I lost track of my victim and merely 30 seconds later I discovered a massive mosquito bite on my right hand. Can you imagine this? Tiny bastard managed to bit me while I was trying to kill him. It is absolutely impossible, so my theory goes like that.

A group of mosquitoes had a party and one of them was like "I bet you wouldn't go near this gal who kills us the moment she sees one of us" and the other mosquito answered "Oh yeah? I can do this, hold my beer". And he did.

What the fuck?